Masked

It’s not you, it’s me.

I’ve forgotten what it’s like to be free.

“There’s more to life,” they say.

My response, “what’s the point, anyway?”

Despite my absence, the sun will still rise before your eyes

Shining bright over this world full of lies in disguise

Each soul buried deep beneath protective layers of self defence & preservation,

Subjecting itself to eternal damnation,

Too afraid to reveal its true colours and face rejection.

We lock ourselves up in cages and deliberately lose the keys,

because cowering away in our comfort zone puts our mind at ease.

Submission

It’s all too familiar;

this feeling,

this silence,

this emptiness.

I think the universe finally decided I had taken a vacation from myself for far too long.

But I wasn’t homesick at all.

Why would I miss feeling like a lost tourist in my own head?

I’ve realized I can’t stay where I don’t belong.

I’ve already planned my next trip:

A leap towards eternal freedom,

A final sigh of relief as I watch the crimson rivers gushing over my palms, letting me sink deeper with each each ebb and flow.

Corpse with a Beating Heart

Have you ever felt stale and rotten?

Like an unattended, maggot-infested wound

Have you ever felt insignificant and small?

Like you’re somehow smaller than an atom, part of something bigger that wouldn’t be any different if it were one-atom-short?

Have you ever felt like your heart is being engulfed in burning lava, making you wish it would just stop beating?

But it doesn’t stop. It just keeps going, and you keep waiting in agony

You have no other choice but to helplessly wait for the pain to stop.

Have you ever felt like tempered glass that’s been struck by a bullet; shattered into a million little pieces, absolutely impossible to put back together?

Have you ever felt so numb, that no matter how deep you cut yourself, you don’t feel anything?

Because I have

But I really hope you haven’t.

Pernicious Friendship

***

I have a friend

We do everything together; “joined at the hip“, as they say

I think the best way to describe him is as a therianthrope

Somedays I wake up and he’s a small mosquito, constantly buzzing in my ear

And somedays I wake up to him roaring like an angry, ferocious lion and there’s nothing else that I can hear

These are the days I am instilled with fear

Our friendship is toxic and abusive, rendering me a despondent captive

Bound by the shackles of his cold embrace

I’m in a constant daze

My mind is a clouded haze; a maze.

Tired of running in circles

I have no doubt,

there’s no way out.

***